“They called me an R&B artist, so I put out a jazz album,” Ray Charles said to Willie Nelson. “Then they started calling me a jazz artist, so I sang country. Now they don’t know what the f*** to call me, and that’s just the way I like it.’”
-- this according to Willie Nelson’s autobiography, “It’s a Long Story,” perfectly titled IMO!
Ray and Willie had had similar experiences bucking against the mold that record producers and executives were trying to force them into. (Can you imagine?!)
“You’re different, Willie,” Ray assured him, “and it’s your job to protect that difference. Producers want you to sound like the last hit you had. But hell, I see that as old history. Right now, I wanna make new history.”
Here were two of the greatest artists of our time, and two men you might never expect to find at a party together, especially back in the days when they first met. Yet they saw each other as kindred souls and became lifelong friends. Each influenced by the other’s musical roots and culture, what they most shared in common was that neither of them “fit in” anywhere, whatever that means!
Put on a Ray Charles album, and it's ray Charles music. That's all you need to know.
Listen to anyone else sing a Willie Nelson song, and no matter how great the singer, one thing is always missing...Willie! Nobody sings a Willie Nelson song like Willie Nelson. And that’s just how we like it.
Isn't it interesting this strange paradox of our natural human desire to long to belong, while revering and rewarding those that break the mold in remarkable ways.
How many people do you admire because of how much like others they are?
How many inspiring stories have you heard of someone dutifully following the grain and doing things as they've always been done?
How many more do we need to hear before we get it?
Nothing remarkable ever comes from "fitting in," being "normal," following the template.
When people tell you the one way you HAVE to do something, question it, especially if it's the way it's always been done.
When you find yourself thinking, "But I'm not like them." Good! Keep it that way.
I've never felt I fit in anywhere. In high school, I started “trying on” different groups, searching for somewhere to belong (and TBH, rebelling against whatever was expected of me). I went from cheerleader to redneck hellraiser, to weird art kid, to whatever strange brew I ended up as when none of those was “just right.” No one knew what to make of me either. My senior year, I was voted “Most Unique"...in a very small town, in southern Arkansas, in the early 90s. Wasn’t exactly a flex 😂 for the average teenager of that time and context. But it was one thing that did rather suit me.
In adulthood, I moved to Los Angeles, and even here I felt like an odd sock...not odd enough to be alternative, not cool enough to be a hipster, or beautiful enough to get in with the "in" crowd.
Looking back, I don't wish I would have fit in more. I only wish I would have realized I didn't need to. I wish I could have enjoyed being me more. I wish I could have enjoyed exploring all of the different avenues out of curiosity instead of insecurity.
Now, it's what enables me to relate to so many different kinds of people. Coincidentally, now I fit in with people that don't feel they fit in. It's what makes me the perfect coach for a very select group of people that see me as perhaps the first person to see them. I'm not for everyone. That's a good thing.
Sometimes, how we don’t fit in is where we find our place.
Ready to find your place in the world? Tired of feeling like you're failing because you can't do things the way everyone else is? I'd love to help. Reach out through the contact form below, or email me at ginamarkscoaching@gmail.com
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