“I always sabotage myself.” “I can’t seem to get out of my own way.” "I’ll do okay for a while, then…” “I’ll get close, then…”
It sounds sneakily humble, doesn’t it? It’s our “perfectionism,” or we have some core wound of unworthiness. We don’t deserve this dream/goal/accomplishment. We don’t deserve this better life that we crave.
I was praying and intending this morning and found myself almost pleading, “I just want to live more from my heart. I just want to get out of my own way and show up more...for the people I love and the people I can help, follow through on all of these things I dream of doing and feel like these things ARE for ME to do.”
It’s somewhat new that I even pray for myself in this way, because…what? Another form of self-sabotage? I didn’t feel comfortable asking for help, even God’s help. Because it’s my fault. I’m just doing it wrong.
You see what’s happening? Where is the focus when I think I’m not enough, and I don’t even have the right to ask for help or get support? The focus is all back on me. It's all about me.
There’s nothing noble about self-sabotage. It’s not generous. It’s not kind. It’s not even humble in any positive way.
It’s the opposite. It prevents us from giving and serving. It prevents us from being our most generous selves.
Self-sabotage is truly self-serving.
We don't do it on purpose. It’s not a choice we’re making. I’m not criticizing you, or any of us. The light hasn’t come on before.
Now it has.
So stop it. :)
We may not be able to break the patterns immediately, but we can be more aware of them and more honest with ourselves about what’s actually happening. And that gives us a far better chance of changing it.
Stay aware, my friends!
Are you ready to "get over yourself already"? I can help you navigate your own patterns of self-sabotage, deconstruct what’s happening, where, why and how, and create new strategies that actually work.
You'll find a sample range of pricing on my pricing page. I also offer sliding scale services for those in financial hardship. Contact me through the link below, or email me directly at ginamarkscoaching@gmail.com
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